For over a month, rumors have flown and people have talked about several things, all stemming from the Folsom Fringe convention and the handling of confidential information by the smO President, danelle.
Lots of people heard lots of things. Her friends (and those who voted with her on the board) made claims and have "their version".
Here is the heart of what happened to A.J. and shadow.
**Issues surrounding failure to respect requests to not contact shadow further and deal with A.J., issues about people being originally notified of "negative" things by danelle but left off further cc's, issues surrounding the handling of money, issues concerning how there were others allowed into the event without ID, and issues surrounding how the president even GOT access to the registration system when she had no need nor was she supposed to be there are NOT outlined here. They can be discussed at a further time. They are ALL valid, serious, and important issues that an organization offering memberships and handling more than $50,000. a year SHOULD be concerned about and should want to handle.**
After SEVERAL incidents of breeches in confidentiality within the smO organization since 2003 began, it was decided by Strong Eagle early in April 2006 that he and shadow would not attend the FF 2006 event. Strong Eagle felt that shadow's personal information was already being spread by those previously associated with smO (prior to this entire email incident), and did not want to expose any MORE information or give them more "ammunition" towards her.
He was then (early May) persuaded that registering would be safe this year, as 2 VERY RESPECTED AND COMPLETELY CONFIDENTIAL members of the BDSM community were handling the regonline process. These registration leads were under the impression that they and only they would have access to private information about anyone registering, and that no one not approved by them would be allowed to have the kind of access (widespread, unacknowledged or casual availability and sharing with friends and partners without community knowledge) that past smO members have had. They repeated this belief to several folks that wanted to attend smO events but were hesitant due to past problems about 1: who got to see their ID, 2: who had downloaded registrants personal info in the past, and 3: who had spread rumors and deliberatly viewed information they had no need for.
shadow and AJ registered under their legal names on line. shadow used her business name that she has legally used for 5 years (including doing business for smO WITH smO knowledge and approval). Both of them had made arraingments to do what she had done for EVERY FF in the past and handle her California issued I.D. to just one person they trusted in registration (which, in all years past, had been Allie, a most trusted and secure member of the BDSM community).
(ALL sensitive names or e-mail addresses have been X'd out for confidentiality of those persons).
Out of the blue, On July 15th, with no previous notice of her intent to anyone, danelle wrote this as president of smo to eleven people (most of whom had no access or *alleged* access to registration):
Subj: Your FF '06 Registration
Date: 7/15/2006 2:00:54 PM Pacific Standard Time
From: president@smodyssey.com
To: I999shadow@aol.com
CC: mebetrouble@sbcglobal.net, TgrBill@aol.com, Board@smOdyssey.com
Sent from the Internet (Details)
Dear shadow,
It has come to the attention of the Board of Directors of smOdyssey, Inc.
that you registered for our upcoming FolsomFringe '06 event under an
identity which is not your legal name. Several board members as well as
other committee leads know that you have a falsified identification card
under the name of XXXXXX XXXXXX and that you may have used this alias in
years past.
Now that smOdyssey, Inc. is a legal entity, we must adhere to policies
that are in place for the protection of the organization and our
membership. All participants; staff, volunteers and presenters included,
must adhere to the requirement of registration that they provide proof of
legal identity and must sign waivers and consent forms with this same
signature. Scene names can be used on event badges.
Therefore, your registration under the name of XXXXXX XXXXXX is made
void. We have not yet submitted your payment for deposit. We will do so
once you have registered correctly. If you prefer, we will refund your
payment, though your presence at FolsomFringe '06 would be missed.
Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.
Sincerely,
danelle
President
smOdyssey, Inc.
Danelle had no reason nor right to be in the registration files.
Her accusations about an illegal ID were and are unfounded and are slanderous. Lawyers have been talked to about this, although no action has been taken, as bringing legal actions in the BDSM community seemed, at the time, excessive.
The registration people (Bill and Blondi) were the ONLY people besides shadow and possibly her Master (who was also registered with her) that should have been contacted under ANY circumstances about an issue in registration.
danelle wrote to ELEVEN people and outed shadow's business name, one that has LEGALLY been used to sign contracts for smO in the past as well as other legal documents that are considered legal with the courts.
No one involved with smO or registering for the smO events had EVER been told nor had any idea that the entire board would be given personal information over registration issues, nor was anyone ever notified that other people involved with FF that did not need to know "legal" I.D. or other info would be "included". It was an unforgivable breech of CONFIDENTIALITY by the PRESIDENT of SMO.
It violated the most core belief and promise that public kink players make- to keep the identities of others as sacred as possible. It violated smO's own by law rules of conduct.
None the less, even with this deliberate spreading of shadow's business name and slanderous accusations by danelle, shadow and A.J. did NOT out danelle to the community. They worked diligently to get an apology, a retraction, and were more than happy to wait for the board to get whatever verification that they needed so that shadow could attend the event without putting her family name anywhere in the system -- as that system had already proved to be compromised and non-confidential. This violation proved, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there was no promise of any privacy, safety, or continued confidentiality to be had for anything entered into it.
Repeated requests about who else besides danelle had "unrequired access" to the Folsom Fringe registration system went unanswered, and an apology was never made by danelle or the board as a whole (private members who had not voted with the majority did contact both parties and apologize repeatedly for the lack of confidentiality and the abuse of personal information). Over the summer, various lists of "access approved" members were eventually put on line in Odyforum. None of those lists was inclusive of everyone that DID have access, and none of them included all the people that danelle had deliberately outed shadow to. Each of those posts- by various board members- contradicted the list posted by other board members. No one (other than the board, the friends of danelle, and anyone working on Folsom Fringe) on the Odyforum was then aware that a violation of core values and conduct had already occurred.
No one knew that danelle had been supported by the majority of the board when she broke confidences and gave away personal information that was not hers to spread.
Through out the summer, A.J. handled all communications and made it perfectly clear that shadow would be more than happy to bring any and all required documents of whatever personal information **that was still hers to share ** and not already apparently common knowledge, TO TIGER BILL AND BLONDI, before or at registration. Tiger Bill and Blondi both know how to read identification, and since they were also privy to shadow's family and identificaton (as was danelle, who had a personal connenction with her until June 2005), already knew her family name, address, and other private information. He was adamant that the breech of security that had ALREADY happened with danelle outing shadow to eleven people was proof that smO could not be trusted to keep info private when personal hostilities were evident. All the "demands" by smo that shadow should once again put her family information on to the regonline system failed to even mention that she had ALREADY had that system used to rudely violate her privacy and business name and info. The presidents repeated attempts to "assist" were all shams requiring shadow to give up more information to people that had alreayd violated her and her privacy.
During this, A.J. had more than one person privately relate instances of personal bias affecting how the majority board members conducted business and abused their access to private documents and other people's information. He was, and is, more than justified to question the dealings of the majority running smO at that time. Those board members were : danelle, Margaret, Eric, Kim, Marcus, Trudy, Greg, Rhonda, & Alan.
More than half a dozen mails went back and forth between A.J. and smO, with A.J. understanding from the beginning and fully accepting that smo could make whatever conditions it wanted to for a private event about legal ID. His position was that shadow HAD legal rights to use XXXX XXXX, and that her legal ID was a separate issue from the abuse of power and failure to make amends- or even apologize- for danelle's deliberate abuse of shadow's personal information (information that, according to all smO leaders early in the process, danelle did not even HAVE access to).
A.J. did not want to bring this into the open and hurt smo during this all this. FF is a very important event and there were enough issues surrounding this outing that could have hurt the organization. SmO is NEEDED and beloved by both A.J. and shadow (who was a lead for 3 years and very close to the founders before turn over) as well as all the folks not currently supporting the majority of the board.
Those who see only "drama" are not aware of the questions surrounding how the board had handled a great many things this past year, aside from the most serious violation in the BDSM community of all- giving out someone else's private information without consent.
A.J. and shadow felt, at the time, that while it was condoned by the board majority, it was completely a personal action by danelle who should be held soley responsible.
Repeated negotiation attempts were met with either silence or outright disdain by the president, and when it appeared that a public discussion should happen, the board voted 5/4 to close the September board meeting to non-members, thereby shutting out a chance for A.J. or shadow to bring their complaints to the board, which, later on, also convieniently cancelled the October meeting of the board.
It was also stated to AJ and shadow that ONLY smo MEMBERS could bring complaints of smo eithics violations to the board. They were effectively told that they had no standing in the community, which was still voting 5/4 in support of danelle's actions and responses on every issue concerning this.
Meanwhile, the $250.00 payment money order made out to SMO was not deposited and the accounts were not flagged or otherwise identified that AJ and shadow had already sent money and that there was a hold on the accounts- :
Subj: Payment Pending
Date: 9/1/2006 10:05:22 PM Pacific Standard Time
From: registration@folsomfringe.com
To: i999shadow@aol.com
Hello, At this time SmOdyssey has not received your check payment for the FF06 registration. Please mail it today. The discounted registration payments should be received by September 10Th. If you have already submitted your check payment, please notifiy us by send a reply to this email. FF06 Accounting Team.
A.J. responded (below) 4 days later when he had still not heard ANYTHING beyond the ongoing refusal to allow any registration options other than using the already exposed unsecure on line registration , but that they (smO) were also still debating the issue and seeking legal council:
Subj: Re: FW: RE: Our response, Final offer!!!
Date: 9/4/2006 5:27:10 AM Pacific Standard Time
From: strong_eagle@hotmail.com
To: subflame@comcast.net, smodysseyboard@yahoogroups.com, XXXXX XXXXX@sbcglobal.net
CC: Board@smOdyssey.com, XXXXX@aol.com, TgrBill@aol.com
Sent from the Internet (Details)
OK!
It has been two weeks, and there is only two weeks to go, an answer would be
nice!
Also registration wrote my property asking for a check, please inform them
that the "board" has it!
A.J./StrongEagle
Later that day he did get a response:
From: "President@smOdyssey.com"
Reply-To: president@smodyssey.com
To: I999shadow@aol.com, strong_eagle@hotmail.com
CC: BLONDI1957@aol.com, TgrBill@aol.com, Board@smOdyssey.com
Subject: RE: Re: FW: RE: Our response, Final offer!!!
Date: Mon, 4 Sep 2006 16:46:08 -0700 (PDT)
Dear shadow and AJ,
The position of the board has not changed. Our registration requirements
will be equally applied to everyone. The name in the registration system
and on all releases must match that which is on the proper legal form of
identification. For the purpose of registration, legal identification is
defined as "valid, unexpired photo identification as issued by the
government (driver's license, state identification card, passport, or
military identification). Please feel free to consult an attorney
regarding an organization's right to require that everyone wishing to
participate in activities of the organization provide legal proof of
identification.
As you have expressed concern, we are still willing to make arrangements
for you to show your photo identification to TigerBill and blondie rather
than other staff who may be working registration when you check in.
If you are interested in availing yourself of this offer, let us know.
Otherwise, we'll be sending back your payment which has yet to be
deposited. Unless you provide an alternate address, your money order
will be mailed toXXXXX at the P.O. box provided as the return
address on the front of the envelope you mailed to smOdyssey, Inc.
Sincerely,
danelle
President
smOdyssey, Inc.
The above mail makes it clear that using the ONLINE reg system with the sensitive information was mandatory, even if the "in person" ID check was through TB or Blondi, thereby negating keeping sensitive ID safe.
Now, if the issue had ended there, and the money returned, all would have been uncomfortable but A.J. and shadow would have left it lie. The intentional spread of information far beyond the need to know basis is not one that was unusual within the friendly circle of smO directors by this time, but they felt that there was nothing they could do about the situation other than tell people that their information would only be safe as long as smo members weren't interested in peeking. They had hoped that the future leaders of the organization would return to higher standards of protocols and enforce limitations on both the president's power to abuse control and would keep the access to personal information to the truly *need* to know rather than the "want to have some power and access".
Between Monday the 4th of September and Friday the 15th of September, the president did not return the payment, and continued to change the cc list and cut out A.J.
shadow replied (see below) for the first time in this entire exchange directly to president smo (and copied the entire chain of mails when she did) in the 15th when the repeated harrassment and lack of reimbursement had become ridiculous. shadow had to ADD AJ's name back on the cc list, even though danelle was allegedly "answering" AJ's mail.
While danelle would later claim that the ongoing issues were a problem with her "reply all" key,it was interesting to note that when danelle would reply,she consistantly took off AJ's name and added back in shadow's i999shadow@aol.com address. This removal of the primary sender (but not the cc's) and addittion of a 3d party is impossible to either recreate on any mail system, or to find in any mail system operations manual.
shadow responded to the mis-sent mail:
Subj: Re: [smodysseyboard] RE:An answer is nice!!!!
Date: 9/15/2006
To: strong_eagle@hotmail.com, subflame@comcast.net, smodysseyboard@yahoogroups.com, president@smodyssey.com
CC: BLONDI1957@aol.com, TgrBill@aol.com, Board@smOdyssey.com
i can see why there is so much at issue about SMO, as you have not replied to the PERSON (Strong Eagle), who wrote to you, which would be just normal, and yet you HAVE once again written to me, which shows your lack of understanding of both the contest you are hosting (M/s) as well as common courtesy requests.
Posted at the request of Strong Eagle (AJ) who never recieved this latest reply.
shadow
******************
Subj: [smodysseyboard] RE:An answer is nice!!!!
Date: 9/14/2006 9:16:11 PM Pacific Standard Time
From: subflame@comcast.net
To: smodysseyboard@yahoogroups.com, president@smodyssey.com, I999shadow@aol.com
CC: BLONDI1957@aol.com, TgrBill@aol.com, Board@smOdyssey.com
Sent from the Internet (Details)
Your money order is sent via registered/receipt mail. You should find it no later than early next week at the return address posted on the envelope in which it was sent.
danelle
President
smOdyssey, Inc.
At 3:28 AM +0000 9/15/06, Strong Eagle wrote:
No reply or money order so if it is not to much trouble smO depositing the
money order and sending a check would make it a bit easier on getting the
money back as the money order is made out to them. The check being made out
to XXXX works as, XXXXX IS A CALIFORNIA
LEGAL NAME for my property tho smO doesnt want to recognise that!
P.S. A simple reply to an e-mail is common curtesy!!!!!
A.J./StrongEagle
When ya quit learning ya die!
http://southerncrossca.blogspot.com
>From: "President@smOdyssey.com"
>Reply-To: president@smodyssey.com
>To: I999shadow@aol.com, strong_eagle@hotmail.com
>CC: BLONDI1957@aol.com, TgrBill@aol.com, Board@smOdyssey.com
>Subject: RE: Re: FW: RE: Our response, Final offer!!!
>Date: Mon, 4 Sep 2006 16:46:08 -0700 (PDT)
>
>Dear shadow and AJ,
>
>The position of the board has not changed. Our registration requirements
>will be equally applied to everyone. The name in the registration system
>and on all releases must match that which is on the proper legal form of
>identification. For the purpose of registration, legal identification is
>defined as "valid, unexpired photo identification as issued by the
>government (driver's license, state identification card, passport, or
>military identification). Please feel free to consult an attorney
>regarding an organization's right to require that everyone wishing to
>participate in activities of the organization provide legal proof of
>identification.
>
>As you have expressed concern, we are still willing to make arrangements
>for you to show your photo identification to TigerBill and blondie rather
>than other staff who may be working registration when you check in.
>
>If you are interested in availing yourself of this offer, let us know.
>Otherwise, we'll be sending back your payment which has yet to be
>deposited. Unless you provide an alternate address, your money order
>will be mailed to XX.XXXX at the P.O. box provided as the return
>address on the front of the envelope you mailed to smOdyssey, Inc.
>
>Sincerely,
>
>danelle
>President
>smOdyssey, Inc.
>
>**************************
>
>>To: subflame@comcast.net, smodysseyboard@yahoogroups.com,
>greggparssons@sbcglobal.net
>>Cc: Board@smOdyssey.com, BLONDI1957@aol.com, TgrBill@aol.com
>>From: "Strong Eagle"
>
>>Date: Mon, 04 Sep 2006 12:26:56 +0000
>>Subject: [smodysseyboard] Re: FW: RE: Our response, Final offer!!!
>
>
>>OK!
>>It has been two weeks, and there is only two weeks to go, an answer would
>be nice!
>
>>Also registration wrote my property asking for a check, please inform
>them that the "board" has it!
>
>
>>A.J./StrongEagle
>
>>When ya quit learning ya die!
>
>>http://southerncrossca.blogspot.com
*****************************
At that point, both shadow and A.J. wanted their $250.00 returned, were tired of the failures of the board to accept legal ID approved by the state of California and valid to use for any transaction including home buying or starting a business, but did NOT have a problem if the board or FF leads had just stated "we do not want you here", as smO and Folsom Fringe are a private organization and can accept or reject anyone they choose. The issue was the breech of confidentiality during registration, the failure to admit it had happened, to apologize for it happening, or to do anything to ensure it would not happen again nor to take steps to limit how many people had (by then) been privy to her private information.
danelle's last mail had stated that should AJ and shadow not wish to register on line, their money order would be returned. That should have been the end. The money order (which, since it was made out to smO *should* have been deposited immediately to the organization. Non-profits are under the same banking obligations and financial rules as all other businesses in the U.S.) amount should have been refunded through the FF or smO checking account made out to XXX XXX (the name on the money order and legal business name of shadow).
But danelle, acting as president, had to send *one* last mail. For 6 years, writing shadow as a friend, and all summer, writing as a president of the board, shadow's email address was just that- only her email address, and *nothing else* on every mail from danelle's various posting spots and both her accounts as "subflame" and "president smo".
Amazingly, the very thing shadow and A.J. had fought to protect-- her family name- showed up on danelle's LAST post when she apologized for the "oversight" in failing to copy A.J.
>From: subflame
>To: smodysseyboard@yahoogroups.com, strong_eagle@hotmail.com,
>subflame@comcast.net, president@smodyssey.com
>CC: BLONDI1957@aol.com, TgrBill@aol.com, Board@smOdyssey.com, XX(family name)XX
>
>Subject: Re: [smodysseyboard] RE:An answer is nice!!!!
>Date: Fri, 15 Sep 2006 11:12:48 -0700
>
>My sincere apologies. It's was simply a function of my reply all key, as I
>learned just now in the 'reply all' to your post. Though you were the
>sender of the message you had to be added as a cc. Know disrespect is
>meant to you or to Strong Eagle. Legally, we have an obligation to see
>that we have responded directly to you since this issue is specifically
>related to you.
>
>Unless you do not receive your returned money order by mid week (no later
>than 9/20/06), this should conclude any further need to discuss the matter.
>
>danelle
>President
>smOdyssey, Inc.
>
>At 12:34 PM -0400 9/15/06, I999shadow@aol.com wrote:
>>i can see why there is so much at issue about SMO, as you have not replied
>>to the PERSON (Strong Eagle), who wrote to you, which would be just
>>normal, and yet you HAVE once again written to me, which shows your lack
>>of understanding of both the contest you are hosting (M/s) as well as
>>common courtesy requests.
>>
>>Posted at the request of Strong Eagle (AJ) who never recieved this latest
>>reply.
>>shadow
**************************
That mail OUTED a fellow scene member and shared information that was not hers to give.
When confronted with this, three different board members gave three different statements about how a "e-mail program glitch" got shadow's family name magically added with her i999 shadow account (which has NEVER had that name attached to it). shadow keeps separate accounts for all her vanilla activities and her scene activities.
We KNOW it had to be hand added in, and not in any way "complied" from some other mail program, or information gleaned while investigating her identification by smO.
It is also clear that it was hand added as an after thought at the end of this summer of emails, as the first name was SPELLED WRONG in a way shadow has NEVER has used in her LIFE. It could not possibly have been copied or pasted, "caught" in some magical program that cannot be found, nor mistakenly forwarded.
It was deliberately added by danelle. It was vindictive. It was unstable and put smO in a position of legal liability. It was a personal decision to deliberately hurt another person and violate the core rules of conduct of both the scen and smO.
The "accident" however, was not apologized for by the board or as an official action. No other posts were sent even accepting responsiblity for *doing* this thing.
The argument that shadow’s very vanilla name was "accidentally" attached to the last email was invalidated when 2 separate board members privately apologized and claimed they did not see any of danelle's posts before she sent them and had no control over danelle's e-mails to AJ or shadow, and that danelle's actions were done without approval or notice to the full board.
The majority (5 members, including president danelle) of the board has acted as if there was not an issue worthy of note or discussion and dismissed the whole thing.
A.J. spent the next 4 days before FF debating if he should create a scene at the event, demand satisfaction, or even just wait and see if anyone would handle the issue during the event. He did not advise shadow of the second outing of her information- and the outing of her family name until after the weekend was over to protect her.
danelle's actions were ignored by the majority of the board. Eventually, 3 dissenting voices that had been over-ridden repeatedly about the issue all *privately* contacted A.J. with their sincere apologies that they had to sit on the board and watch this happen.
The money order sent by shadow was returned and recieved Sept 22nd. It was sent from danelle's work address, on work stationary, with her return address at work rather than as a legal smo item. It had never been cashed, and was not even registered with the financial paperwork. It was "kept out" of the money loop, and there is no paper trail as one would expect from a non-profit organization. As it was made out to smO, only that agency could legally cash it. No one offered to send a check that shadow could redeem. shadow eventually went to the office where it was purchased, and persuaded the company in question to honor her reciept as proof to refund it, minus a handling fee.
AFTER Folsom Fringe, when still nothing was done at *all* about censuring the president for her actions, A.J. once again wrote privately to the board advising them that should they not make amends for the repeated outing of information as president that danelle should not have had, he would pursue other possible actions.
The reply was swift, unrepentant, and suddenly tried to make DANELLE look like the victim!
>From: "President@smOdyssey.com"
>Reply-To: president@smodyssey.com
>To: "Strong Eagle"
>CC: subflame@comcast.net, smodysseyboard@yahoogroups.com,
>president@smodyssey.com, blondi1957@aol.com, tgrbill@aol.com,
>board@smodyssey.com
>Subject: Re: Congrats!!!!
>Date: Tue, 10 Oct 2006 00:05:22 -0700 (PDT)
>
>This is quite enough, AJ. I will not allow you to bully me or my fellow
>board members any longer. We apologized for the inconvenience of you
>having to follow the rules like everyone else and provided you an
>exception to show ID to two people you would find acceptable. You chose
>not to avail yourselves of that. I apologized for inadvertantly leaving
>you out of a reply. There is nothing more for which an apology is owed.
>There was no malicious outing.
>
>You have already taken this public (people talk).
>
>I ask you now to immediately cease your harrassment and slander of me and
>your efforts to intimidate my fellow members of the board.
>
>danelle
>President
>smOdyssey, Inc.
A.J. then wrote them the following:
Subj: Re: Congrats!!!!
Date: 10/10/2006 5:33:14 AM Pacific Standard Time
From: strong_eagle@hotmail.com
To: president@smodyssey.com
CC: subflame@comcast.net, smodysseyboard@yahoogroups.com, blondi1957@aol.com, tgrbill@aol.com, board@smodyssey.com
Sent from the Internet (Details)
I did not realise that your malicous outing of shadows real name on the last
mail to this list was NOTHING!!!!! Now that I have been informed that YOU
and this BOARD feel this is NOTHING!!!!
I shall persue other avenues. Thank you for the quik reply veriying what I
already knew of YOU!!!!i
A.J./StrongEagle
When ya quit learning ya die!
http://southerncrossca.blogspot.com
While A.J. and shadow had consulted 3 separate attorneys, they both felt and continue to feel that no matter how horrible, lawyers and lawsuits are not the answer to this situation, even when danelle began trying to make the situation a problem created by them against her. Neither of them has ever mentioned ANYTHING personal about the woman, even though both of them know all of her personal information and had shared a very close relationship for a time.
A.J. continued to consider the best possible action, knowing that a person in authority had deliberately outed someone TWICE, refused to even take responsiblity and write a formal apology, and had the backing of 4 other people running the board of directors.
He and several people he consulted decided that it would be impossible to ever recieve even a simple acceptance of responsibility, and that the issue should be dropped quietly until a new board took over the organization. They felt that even as bad as it was for shadow, the people holding personal grudges and protecting each other would be out of power and that both AJ and shadow would try to move on, barring any further personal attacks.
Then danelle accepted nomination to run again for the board, and all the parties concerned (not just AJ and shadow by then, but several others involved) knew that something had to be SAID about her lack of remorse and disdain for the basic rules of the BDSM community about other people's identity.
THEN an e-mail was sent to A.J. by a *board member* supporting what danelle did stating that it was AJ and shadow's FAULT for getting outed.
It said that **If she had not tried to be legal and honest, there would have been *no records* for any board members to go search for and then talk about**.
Apparently, the only way to keep information private is if the board cannot get access. THAT is wrong.
There are LOTS of people in the scene with high profile jobs, or easily accessed lives. Having board members that support "going and finding them" and then being OK OUTING ANYONE and mailing that information around is SO wrong and morally unsupportable that anyone that is kinky and wishes to have any annonimity should fear them.
The group of friends on the board showed that ANYONE is at risk under this system, for if you disobey them at all or ask questions, they can do to you what they did to shadow.
This is a situation that was deliberate. It is now long and difficult because the victims tried repeatedly to get satisfaction without going public. It should not pass. It might be easier- safer- for shadow and A.J. to just walk away. There will be people who will villify them for this post, finding a million reasons they should have just "taken it". But that is wrong.
There will be attempts to discredit them, to deny what happened.
Attempts including the following (where the outing of her business name on JULY 15 is then explained away by board members viewing county files not created until early September).
>To: smodysseyboard@yahoogroups.com, president@smodyssey.com,
>strong_eagle@hotmail.com
>CC: subflame@comcast.net, board@smodyssey.com
>Subject: RE: [smodysseyboard] Re: Congrats!!!!
>Date: Tue, 10 Oct 2006 13:29:31 +0000
>
>Aj,
>
> There was no malicious outing as you put it, regardless of what you may
>think. The information as to what shadows true name is was presented to
>this board when you informed us that shadow had registeredXXXXX
>as (Legal name) XXXX. That information sir, is public knowledge and can be easily
>checked on the web. You are an intelligent individual and I can not believe
>that there was no expectation that it the information would not be checked.
>Any intelligent and prudent person would have done the same, it would be an
>insult to all those involved to think otherwise. As you may notice I have
>removed Tigerbill and blondie from this e-mail string, FolsomFringe is over
>and they have endured enough of this, I see no reason why they should be
>subjugated to this abuse.
>(signature of board member)
A.J. wishes to add the following:
"shadow and I have nothing to lose, hide, nor gain from any of this-- we have, and will continue, to do what is fun, share with those we trust, and support every kink group in the USA that keeps integrity as a standard to meet.
danelle's decision to run *again* for the board shows her hypocrisy and questions the current majority on the board in following its own code of conduct. We do not feel that danelle is trustworthy to be in such a position. The voters at large may disagree with us, and that is their right.
My slave and I are comfortable with our decision to make this a public issue and are fully prepared for any retribution and or backlash from those who have allowed danelle to out shadow so completely.
We will tell anyone that asks *anything* about this incident, as there is nothing confidential in outing people deliberately."
****
Update: Nov. 28, 2006:
At the request of the majority of the new board (Rhonda, Greg, Lloyd, Tied, Tender,Jim, Marcus, Margaret, danelle), A.J. submitted a formal request for a hearing. The new board had to create a form for such a complaint. There was not mechanisim in place to deal with these kinds of charges.
Further update Dec. 10, 2006: Since this was originally posted and the url given to those involved, it was spread without permission to over 100 people who viewed it.
TWO of those people then contacted shadow and AJ with stories about danelle outing THEM or spreading confidential information without permission after they had incurred her anger. Both parties have been asked to contact the new board separately about this emerging pattern of abuse.
Update: Feb. 12, 2007.
We apologize for the time lag. The ongoing "process" by smO did not appear to have a specific end time. While working through thedse issues, shadow realized that
at some previous time last summer, the SMO D/s yahoo group had posted to her that it was no longer for discussion, only notifications. She could not access the home page, but since she did not get *any* mail from it, she believed that it was a quiet list. In Dec., she updated her mail book and re-checked the yahoo group, which still did not allow her access to the home page. Knowing that there were new leadership changes, she asked the new board when they were going to start the Yahoo group back up again. The leadership members handling that group (a board member and ex board member) knew anything about it.The person who was running the yahoo list at that moment (another board member)had not told them it existed.
After many questions and e-mails, shadow decided on her own to attend the January 14th board meeting and ask them directly why she couldn't get in and had apparently been completely removed from the group (the resulting answers were "it was an accident"-- note answers over outing her above).
While addressing the board at the start of the open forum over being removed from a yahoo group without caus,the pressident of the board asked shadow to stay for a private session at 10pm to address the complaint.
We had no previous contact that the board was ready to handle this issue, nor were were completely prepared for the possible meeting. shadow however said yes she would, and made arraingments to come back at 10 pm.
At 10 pm, comments made by board members to 3 other people to "wait upstairs" revealed that danelle had brought "charachter witnesses" to defend her. shadow could not figure out how she did that if no one knew they were going to ask her to stay for an impromptu meeting on the issue, and shadow did not know that she could have brought her own cheering section. shadow none the less did not call off the meeting, as she felt that the evidence was clear, the rules were written and had been broken, and the situation was pretty cut and dried, with only the punitive phase to be established.
The meeting consisted of the current sitting board and shadow. No minuetes were taken and there is no record of anything said in closed session.
No one excused themselves for any reason, and shadow did not make any demands for such. The president opened with a written 3(?) page statement to the effect that smO Inc was under no obligation to hear complaints about their board members from anyone except other smo members, and this was going to be the one and only time that they would put aside that rule. shadow understood this and recognized their consideration in hearing about her outing. She also understands that, in the future, the smo board will not take any complaints about anyone in their organization violating any code of conduct or ethics violation unless it is done to a current smo member. SMO does not stand behind their confidentiality code nor their by-laws in regards to anyone attending any event nor participating in any site, discussion, or group if the person is not a paid member of smo.
shadow was asked repeatedly why she was pushing this issue, and 3 members stated that they felt this was just 2 friends having a personal fight. She understood that opinion and expected it to arise, and calmly restated her belief that this was a violation of her legal rights, that it was uncalled for, that the original opting stemmed from the president opening mail addressed to Tiger Bill (her original payments for FF), and that the further handling of it was inappropriate.
Danelle stated that she did in fact put shadow's name deliberately on the first post, and that she had "her reasons" for why she outed her business name to so many people. She did not state why.
